


Sexy Party Possibility

by howardently



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 06:49:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5775778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howardently/pseuds/howardently
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Chloe hadn't been the one to show Finn where the phone was?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sexy Party Possibility

“I’ll take him, Chlo.” Rae says, ignoring Chloe’s frown. “I need a bit of a break, it’s a bit much in here.”

Chloe gives her a level look, eyes pinched. “Are you sure, Rae? I don’t mind.”

Finn’s looking at the floor still, rubbing his ear and watching the two of them from under his eyelashes. He shifts his weight from foot to foot, offers Rae a small smile where he’s facing her.

“Course.” Rae shakes her head at Chloe, shrugs like it doesn’t matter. They stare at each other for a minute, waiting to see who is going to win. Rae pulls her trump card. “’Sides, why would you go upstairs? The loo down here is empty.” She points down the hall towards the open doorway.

Chloe sneers, jerks her head to the side. Finn glances over his shoulder at her with a closed-mouth, twisted smile as she walks off. Then he turns back to Rae, rubs his elbow with one hand and raises his eyebrows at her. Rae shoots him what she hopes is a smile back, but it’s hard to tell if she’s successful because she’s so grumpy. This party is getting to her. This whole day is getting to her.

She starts towards the stairs and Finn follows a step behind. Halfway up, they even out until they’re climbing the stairs together- each with a foot on the same step. 

“Sorry about calling you buddy earlier.” Finn announces suddenly, and she glances over with pleasure and surprise. He rubs his ear again. “That was pretty daft. I don’t think I’ve used the word buddy since primary.”

“Yeah, what was that?” Rae asks, mouth curving around a smile. His cheeks seem to get pinker, but it’s dark up here and she cant quite tell. 

“I dunno!” He chuckles. The party sounds are muted as they step onto the upstairs landing. “I were surprised that you were leaving when we’d just got there.”

She doesn’t respond as they walk the short distance to her Mum’s room and she holds open the door for him to pass through. He steps in and looks around, which makes her smile. 

“I’ll just… leave you to it.” She says, rocking back and forth with her hand still on the doorknob, ready to shut the door behind her. “Give you some privacy.”

“No!” He says, fast. He’s definitely blushing this time. Finn clears his throat. “I mean, it’ll only be a minute. I just want to check in.” He looks at the phone on the bedside table, then looks back over at her. His eyes seem awfully big tonight. “Actually, I don’t even really need to. Not just yet. Maybe we could…” He ducks his head again, licks his lips. “Maybe we could just hang out up here? Where it’s quieter? We could talk a bit, or um, listen to some tunes. I think I brought my Knebworth mix. I still want those marks out of ten.”

She’s equal parts shocked and thrilled. And relieved that she didn’t let Chloe show him upstairs. She has to force herself to take a break so she doesn’t do something crazy, like leap on him and lick his eyebrows. How can his stupid eyebrows even be sexy? He’s biting his lip, and she has the sudden thought that he’s nervous. She dismisses it instantly. 

“Yeah.” She drawls, slow and cool. “I suppose. The party was doin’ my head in anyway. Chop must’ve invited half on Lincolnshire.” She tilts her head to watch as his face slides into a big, easy… and incredibly hot grin. “You sure you want to hang out in my Mum’s room, though? I didn’t think floral was really your style.”

Finn laughs, and it shivers down her spine. “Yeah, no. Let’s go to your room.”

Rae holds her hand out, gesturing him back out of the room. He walks by her in the doorway, and she’s not really sure if he’s closer this time, but she could swear she can feel his body heat from where she’s standing. He brushes her hand with his side as he turns he corner. She presses her lips between her teeth.

He walks down the hall and considers the three closed doors, then looks a question at her and points to the linen cupboard. She smiles and shakes her head. He opens a different door and goes in. 

She stays in the hall for a second, hands pressed behind her up against the wall, trying to keep her cool. It’s hard though, because Finn fucking Nelson is in her bedroom. At least half of her dirty fantasies have started this way.

But then reality kicks in. Finn Nelson is in her bedroom, possibly flicking through her diary. She darts into the room.

He’s bending over her stack of tapes, the piles of mixes she’s been collecting for the last six years. He chuckles at one, but she can’t see what it is. He straightens after a moment, gives her a blindingly cheerful smile. Rae feels a bit dazed with happiness. 

“I like your room.” He says, touching the silly patterned wallpaper. She blushes.

“Thanks.”

Finn taps his pockets for a second, then frowns. “Shit, the tape’s downstairs. I’ll just nip down and get it, get us a couple of beers, yeah?”

She’s torn. She does want to listen to his mixtape, especially if he’s brought it to the party. Maybe he was hoping to play it for her, hoping for a chance just like this. But at the same time, if he goes back down to the party, the moment might pop. She has a horrible vision of her sitting up here in the darkness waiting for him, only to have him never come back. 

Finn seems to sense her thoughts. He holds out his hands in front of him soothingly. “I’ll be _right_ back. You stay right there.”

“Okay.”

He goes quick, half jogging from the room. Rae settles down into her beanbag, tilts her head up to stare at the ceiling. This night has suddenly gotten much much better.

\---

She’s struggling not to dig her fingers too far into her palms, not to leave any lasting marks. He’s been gone FOREVER. 

Okay, so it’s probably not forever. More like three or four minutes. But it feels like ages. She’s jiggling her foot hard enough that the bed shakes beneath her. It’s getting increasingly difficult to push away visions of Finn with Anna splayed on his lap, hands in his hair.

So when he finally comes back into the room with his arm full of beers and carefully closes the door behind him, it’s almost a physical release. This is worrisome, she can’t get this attached, this involved, regardless of the fact that he seems to want to spend time with her alone while a party is going on around them. He’s not for her, she has to remember that. No matter how much she wants him, how much potential this seems to have. He’s Finn Nelson and she’s just her. She can’t forget.

Finn gives her that smile, the one that makes her stomach flutter, the one where he looks up at her from underneath his fringe. He’s been doing that a lot, grinning up at her. It’s unfair, really. Finn in her room smiling at her is such a dreamlike circumstance, it just makes her sad that the reality can never be what she hopes.

He walks over to the bed, still smiling goofily and hands her the beers one at a time. She deposits them into a pile on the bed beside her, keeping one and popping the tab. 

Finn reaches a hand into the back pocket of his jeans and pulls out a tape, tapping it on his palm twice. She can’t help but grin; he’s so excited. 

“Well put it in, then.” She says with a smile. Finn waggles his eyebrows at her, smirks. It’s so goddamn sexy, she has to bite back a sigh. He turns and puts the tape on, returns to sit beside her. Rae laughs as Babylon Zoo filters softly through the room. “I can’t believe you put this stupid song on the tape.”

Finn laughs, moving himself back until he’s sitting right next to her, his shoulder bumping against hers. He reaches between them and grabs his own can. He doesn’t open it, just fiddles with the tab as he chuckles softly. He’s looking down, so she’s watching him as he says,  “It were just to mess with you.”

“Yeah, I got that.” She chuckles. “Unless it really is your favorite song.”

“Nah, it’s just fun to rile you up.” Finn finally opens the can and takes a swig. 

She doesn’t know what to say to that, how to reply without it sounding super flirty, so she just bumps her shoulder against his. 

“I’m glad you did this.” He says after a minute. She gives him a questioning look. “The party? I’m glad you changed your mind.”

“Right.” She nods, taking another long swig. “Yeah, it’s good.”

“I’m glad we get to hang out.” He’s tapping his thumb on his can, and when he looks up at her, his eyes are big and twinkling and all kinds of ridiculous cliches. Her stomach clenches. “I was hoping to get to talk to ya.” 

“Yeah?” She questions, looking down and biting her lip. She feels hot and tight and like he absolutely knows that she fancies him. 

The song switches over and Finn clears his throat. “Yeah, I, uh…” She glances over quickly and he’s furrowing his forehead, swallowing heavily. He glances up, and his face is so full that she panics.

“So, this one’s a six. Longpigs are bloody brilliant, but this is definitely not their best song.” She rambles.

“What?” Confusion is heavy in his voice.

“Marks out of ten, remember?” She forces a laugh. It sounds false to her, and if Finn’s weak chuckle is any indication, he knows it.

“Oh, yeah. Right.” He nods, takes another sip of his beer. “Listen, Rae…”

“What’s up with Chop and Izzy, huh?” She’s desperate to cut him off. Whatever he has to say, it’s going to pop this perfect bubble. Likely, it’s going to ruin the gang altogether and she’ll have to go back to being friendless and alone.

“Rae.” He frowns, stern. She leans her head back against the wall and looks over at him. “I’m tryin’ to tell ya somethin.” She takes a deep breath and nods. “I’m tryin’ to tell you that I… That maybe we… that I like you.”

She smiles weakly. Here comes the let down. “It’s okay.”

“What do you mean?” He asks, and his eyebrows draw together, a question mark painted over his eyes. 

“You like me, but you don’t like me like that. I get it. It’s fine.” She says, plucking at a loose thread in the duvet, unable to look at him. Her stomach feels like it’s downstairs getting trodden on by pissed partygoers, it’s dropped so far.

“You what?” He says, and his voice is so affronted and bewildered that she has to look over at him.

She shrugs. “It’s cool. It doesn’t have to be weird or anything. You don’t like me, it’s fine.”

“No, I do like you.” He shakes his head. “That’s what I’m saying.”

“Okay.” She smiles tightly, finishing off the rest of her beer in one long swallow. She’s longing for retreat, for relief from the terrible disappointment of being her. Her throat is dry, despite the beer, so she swallows before shrugging and smiling at him again. He must think everything’s fine, that it’s totally okay. She has to make him think that.

“I do like you, Rae.” He says again, frowning.

“Right. I like you, too. We’re mates.”

He shakes his head, eyebrows still furrowed and face pinched. He leans over her to set his can on the nightstand, and the brush of his arm against her is a fresh wave of agony and defeat. After he sets it down, he moves so that he’s sitting facing her. 

“You… You just want to be mates?” He asks, shoulders slumped, eyes lowered. He looks like she’s the one rejecting him. She feels tight and breathless again, like something is happening here and she can’t get control over anything. “I fancy you. That’s what I was trying to say. But if you just want to be friends…” He lifts his shoulders helplessly.

Her heart is pounding; her head is thrumming with it. Her chest is moving, so she knows she’s still breathing, but it feels like all the air in the world has just evaporated. And then, like it’s been replaced with golden light that’s filling her up instead. He fancies her. She wants to smile, yell, jump up and down in victory. But her body wont cooperate.

“Finn, I…” She manages to get out, swallowing heavily. Her cheeks start to rise, her lips curling up into evidence of the bubbling joy inside her. “I…”

“C’mon, fuckers! It’s time for spin the bottle!” Chop whoops, swinging open the door, hanging on to it and leaning into the room. He takes a look at Finn and Rae on the bed and pulls a face- smug, knowing, apologetic. 

Rae looks down and realizes how close she and Finn are sitting, what it must look like to Chop. She feels a quick wash of shame before she remembers what it is. It doesn’t matter what it looks like to Chop, because what it is is Finn fancying her. 

She glances at Finn to find him shooting his mate a loathing look, but it’s too late. There’s already a steady stream of people filing in through the door and depositing themselves into a rough circle on the floor. Archie raises his eyebrows at Rae as he walks in, but it doesn’t diminish the small grin she can’t get rid of. 

Finn looks her over, lingering and searching. She meets his gaze steady this time, doesn’t look away. He breaks the stare first, rubbing his neck and smiling as he glances off. 

“Do you wanna play?” He asks, eyes scanning her face. She shrugs, presses her lips between her teeth to repress her impossible smile. He moves his lips to the side, cocks his head, and then slowly slides on that big, sexy smile. Rae swallows. He nods to the floor and they both sink down to sit side by side. Finn gets up right away and grabs a couple of pillows from the bed and offers her one. 

When they arrange their pillows and get situated, she finds his hand right beside hers on the carpet, his pinky almost touching hers. She looks down at them, moves her hand over just a fraction closer. She doesn’t look up, but she thinks she can feel his smile from where she’s sitting.

The game starts, but she’s not paying attention. She can’t pay attention. Finn’s closed the distance and his pinky rests gently over hers, and nothing exists outside that single point of contact. It’s so little, but it feels like the most intimate, erotic thing she can imagine. Her breath is shallow.

A chorus of jeers rises from the group, and Rae looks up to find Barney kissing a reluctant and uncomfortable Archie. She grins at her mate, does her best not to give him a knowing look. Finn moves his hand over slightly more and everything else fades out again.

Until Chop calls Finn’s name and Rae realizes that they’re in a game of spin the bottle where they have to kiss people. She looks over at him, and he’s giving her an apologetic frown. He rises from his seat and gives Anna a quick, perfunctory kiss. She obviously wants to linger, kiss him longer, but he puts a hand on her shoulder and pushes her back after just a second. Rae wants to look away, but she can’t. 

He bumps his shoulder and knee against her as he sits again, but she crosses her arms over her chest and doesn’t look at him. And then it gets worse.

“Raemundo!” Chop yells, and Rae looks around the circle at all the laughing, jeering faces. Chloe gives her a smug grimace. Rae wishes she could just get up and walk away. None of these people are going to want to kiss her, and she doesn’t want to kiss any of them.

But the bottle lands on Finn. She glances over at him, and he’s practically scowling at the bottle. He looks up at her, eyes dark and questioning. There’s a moment where they’re both waiting for the other; are they going to do this? Rae twitches her mouth, shrugs almost imperceptibly and leans in.

“No, to the cupboard o’ lust!” Chop taunts, and Finn rises to his feet. He holds out a hand to pull her up and she slides her fingers over his palm and lets him tug her.

She thinks that maybe they’ll hold hands, but he drops hers as soon as she stands. She follows him meekly, trying to push back the wall of giggling and hollering that chases them out of the room.

It’s hushed in the cupboard, more so than it should be. It’s the magic of Finn, of them. Everything else gets pushed to the background. She shuts the door slowly and turns hesitantly to face him, nervous and trembling and tight. 

Neither of them moves or says anything for a few seconds, they just stare. Finn’s eyes move down slowly, and she finds herself instinctively licking her lips in response. His eyes dart back up to meet hers as he sees, and Rae nods, unable to catch her breath.

“Me too.” She manages, quickly. “I fancy you too.”

He exhales, a tiny smile playing at the corners of his lips. She licks hers again and he glances down.

“I really want to kiss you.” He says, and she bobs her head rapidly. Yes yes yes. 

He steps in close, fast. She feels a swirl in her stomach at the movement. But then he very slowly lifts his hand to push her hair back behind her ear. He looks into her eyes, smiles sweetly at her. She feels like she’s floating, she’s so happy. He leans in, breath warming her cheeks, and carefully brushes his lips against hers. 

She makes a small sound, and he presses in closer, his lips moving more firmly against hers. His fingers slip into the hair behind her ear, and she lets her hands curve up around his neck and back. She sinks into the kiss, allowing it to take her further and further away until nothing exists but the places their bodies make contact. 

Heat curls, pleasant and fuzzy and liquid, in the center of her belly, spurring her to lean in further, get closer. Her arms tighten around him, and he pulls back to suck in a breath of air before diving back in. She grabs a handful of his t-shirt, and his hand drifts down to her waist.

“Times up, lovebirds!” Chop calls outside the door, and Finn pulls his lips away but keeps his hands where they are. The door starts to rattle and Finn puts a hand on it to hold it closed.

“Just…” He breathes, and she can help but let her fingers curl through the hair at the back of his neck. “Just… give us a second.”

Theres a low “ooooooh” from outside, another round of laughter, but Rae finds she doesn’t care because his thumb is smoothing down her cheek. His eyes roam over her face, so she smiles at him, tries to tell him how happy she is. He touches the corner of her mouth and smiles back.

“Hi.” He says, and she giggles softly.

“Hey.”

“Let’s do that again.” He whispers, bending down to nuzzle his nose against her cheek.

“Yeah, but maybe not in here.” She replies as the door rattles again. Finn laughs, warm and damp against the side of her neck.

“You know, I’ve been thinking. Floral’s been growing on me.”

She pulls back to look at him. “Finn Nelson, are you asking me to go snog in my Mum’s room?”

He looks anxious, eyes wide and face still. He pulls his mouth flat, half grimacing, raises a shoulder at her. “Dunno. You fancy it?”

Rae laughs and tugs him out of the cupboard. They do hold hands this time.


End file.
